Often in the Beachbody business they're asking what is your "why". I always here different variations of my children are my inspiration. There's nothing more humbling than knowing that there are people who rely on you for everything. If you cannot see your own self-worth you can see your value to somebody else. That can take a while to hit home. That really didn’t hit home after I had Sary I didn’t miraculously gain maturity and perspective that my mom friends said I would gain. I was still pretty petty actually. I reached a new level of maturity after I had Piper. I began to understand who I am. I put into perspective my relationships with my family of origin and with my place on this planet. And if you hadn’t already guessed from my previous statement I went to therapy.
I learned that though the way Piper came into this world was the most horrible experience my life. I lived day to day like at any moment my whole world could come crashing down around me. During that time I felt like at any moment I could be totally destroyed. This was my selfish view, my petty view. The mature mom looks back on those days and remembers looking at the small baby, at all she went through for 65 days. I look at the fact that little did I know after the first week we were out of the woods all she was doing from that point forward was getting better.
Everything we take for granted in a full term baby, lifting their head, coordinating suck swallow and breathe reflexes. My baby was suffering and struggle to just do normal everyday things like breathe. Through it all she didn't indicate that it bothered her at all and maybe it never did. For people who have to struggle in life from the very beginning they don’t know any other reality. It is only us that have had things come easy to us that resist pushing our limits or even reaching our potential for that matter.
There were challenges that she came home with after being born at 28 weeks. We started occupational therapy. I had to stretch her neck to tolerance that means you'll be stretching her neck she can deal with it anymore. She had to accept not being held while being fed because her little body would go into sensory overload by feeling me touch her, feeling me breathing, and trying to accomplish a coordinated suck swallow breath, all at the same time. Not only did she survive but if today you put her next to a full term baby born when she was due in April she has not only caught up but she has surpassed her peers.
If she can achieve that I have no reasonable excuse in my mind that I could put together to make an excuse for why I would not make myself as healthy as possible. So that I can give them the quality of care and the fun experiences that they could only have with a healthy, fit mother. My children deserve for me to be here as long as possible. I have no doubt in my mind that if I can survive 65 days of the craziness of the NICU, I can do anything.
