When did you take the easy way?

This is a hard one for me because I am someone who likes to take on a challenge the idea of taking “the easy way” rubs me the wrong way.  I have been working my butt off literally and figuratively this year.  I have not taken the easy why with my weight loss.  I have changed my diet I have exercised I have sweat and cried.  I have worked my butt off at work too I have written winning proposals and I have earned awards and I have commuted all the way around the beltway 4 days a week for 6 months.

Where have I taken the easy way this year? Putting in my resignation may appear as taking the easy way out of the challenge.  Maybe I could have tried to find a different project or a different schedule or one more compromise.  But for me the hard answer was to admit Deloitte is hard and not everyone is up for the challenge.  At this time, though the challenge is appealing, being with my family is more important.  It may look like the easy way to my friends still climbing that ladder but to me it was a very hard decision to give up the prestige and the challenge and return to the other side of the beltway where my babies are reminding me that my own eminence is not the most important thing in life.

Why I wanted to improve my fitness

Often in the Beachbody business they're asking what is your "why".  I always here different variations of my children are my inspiration.  There's nothing more humbling than knowing that there are people who rely on you for everything.  If you cannot see your own self-worth you can see your value to somebody else. That can take a while to hit home. That really didn’t hit home after I had Sary I didn’t miraculously gain maturity and perspective that my mom friends said I would gain. I was still pretty petty actually. I reached a new level of maturity after I had Piper.  I began to understand who I am. I put into perspective my relationships with my family of origin and with my place on this planet.  And if you hadn’t already guessed from my previous statement I went to therapy.

 

I learned that though the way Piper came into this world was the most horrible experience my life.  I lived day to day like at any moment my whole world could come crashing down around me.  During that time I felt like at any moment I could be totally destroyed.  This was my selfish view, my petty view.  The mature mom looks back on those days and remembers looking at the small baby, at all she went through for 65 days. I look at the fact that little did I know after the first week we were out of the woods all she was doing from that point forward was getting better.

 

Everything we take for granted in a full term baby, lifting their head, coordinating suck swallow and breathe reflexes.  My baby was suffering and struggle to just do normal everyday things like breathe. Through it all she didn't indicate that it bothered her at all and maybe it never did.  For people who have to struggle in life from the very beginning they don’t know any other reality.  It is only us that have had things come easy to us that resist pushing our limits or even reaching our potential for that matter.

 

There were challenges that she came home with after being born at 28 weeks.   We started occupational therapy.  I had to stretch her neck to tolerance that means you'll be stretching her neck she can deal with it anymore.  She had to accept not being held while being fed because her little body would go into sensory overload by feeling me touch her, feeling me breathing, and trying to accomplish a coordinated suck swallow breath, all at the same time.  Not only did she survive but if today you put  her next to a full term baby born when she was due in April she has not only caught up but she has surpassed her peers.

 

If she can achieve that I have no reasonable excuse in my mind that I could put together to make an excuse for why I would not make myself as healthy as possible. So that I can give them the quality of care and the fun experiences that they could only have with a healthy, fit mother. My children deserve for me to be here as long as possible. I have no doubt in my mind that if I can survive 65 days of the craziness of the NICU, I can do anything.

Baby girl 18 months today

Piper you are 18 months old.  You have become such a unique little girl.  You have a very expressive face.  I am the expert on what each of your faces mean.  Except your scrunchy face.  One day Sary asked me "What does that face mean?" I couldn't tell her I knew it meant you had strong feelings but were you: frustrated, determined or concentrating?  I am glad Maria captured your scrunchy face in your portrait.

Everyone says you look just like Sary.  You two do look a lot alike but you are such a wild child you are uniquely different from your sister.  I cannot turn my back without you climbing the stairs behind me.  I always thought toilet latches were silly until you came into my life, now all toilet-seats are down and bathroom doors are closed.  As daring as you can be, you still get overwhelmed in crowds.  Like the day in the picture the kids were running in and out of the fountain at Fairfax corner and you were happy to watch from your stroller.

Even though you are not a big fan of crowds, you are Sary's #1 fan.  If she is laughing in another  -you laugh.  If she makes a funny face you think it is hysterical.  If she takes a toy you want from you though you do not take it lying down.  You make your scrunchy face and reach over and grab a handful of her hair.  You don't let go until she screeches if she laughs at you, you pull harder.  But if Sary is throwing a fit and crying you will cry too. 

 Piper you are a strong, determined, little girl and I am so excited to learn more about who you are as you grow and learn to express yourself with words and not just faces and hair pulls.  At the same time I want to hold you forever as my baby girl and smell the back of your little neck and kiss your sweet little feet.

One Woman's Pet Peeve is Another Woman's Endearing Quality

Have you ever noticed you become more like the company you keep? I have found this to be especially true with how I see people in my life.  If I am hanging out with people who think that kids are the greatest thing ever I am all smooshy and gaga about being a mom but if I am with someone who sees their children as a burden, all those annoying little things start to bother me.  The same goes for my husband.  If I am hanging out with women that are frustrated in their marriage I am more likely to be frustrated with the annoying things he does.

To be honest everyone has annoying things they do.  It is not that we love them in spite of these things we love including these annoying traits.  Also what annoys one person might not annoy someone else.  I love that Sary knows her own mind.  But I do find it annoying that she feels she must yell to get her point across.  I love that Jake likes to have a busy schedule.  But I do find it annoying that he is late all the time because he over commits.

I am from

I am from a bicycle made from parts, from Pepsi and homemade fudge.

I am from the sandy hills of a man-made lake in central Michigan with the smell of coffee filling the air each morning. I am from antique family pictures with eyes that follow.

I am from the aloe plant’s orange blossom, the lilac bush, and the sunflower rooted below the bird feeder.

I am from monthly Birthday dinners and loud voices, from Debbie Bobbi Danny and Becky.

I am from the too honest and always room at the table. I am from a wall of fame of high school graduation pictures and children in a row.

From “sisters are friends forever” and “everything will work out in the end”.

I am from the nightly prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep…”

I'm from Arizona where it is hot for too long and the children play until the street light comes on. I’m from Michigan where it is cold for too long and the sunsets at two hours before midnight, from potato candy and Mom’s potato salad.

From the never met a stranger mother, the farmer in his heart father and from four grandparents I never really got to know.

I am from the Gallihugh home where ever it roams. I am from a family of wanderers who are never far apart in their hearts.

I first saw this type of poem on Uniquely Normal Mom the template for this poem is here.