One Woman's Pet Peeve is Another Woman's Endearing Quality

Have you ever noticed you become more like the company you keep? I have found this to be especially true with how I see people in my life.  If I am hanging out with people who think that kids are the greatest thing ever I am all smooshy and gaga about being a mom but if I am with someone who sees their children as a burden, all those annoying little things start to bother me.  The same goes for my husband.  If I am hanging out with women that are frustrated in their marriage I am more likely to be frustrated with the annoying things he does.

To be honest everyone has annoying things they do.  It is not that we love them in spite of these things we love including these annoying traits.  Also what annoys one person might not annoy someone else.  I love that Sary knows her own mind.  But I do find it annoying that she feels she must yell to get her point across.  I love that Jake likes to have a busy schedule.  But I do find it annoying that he is late all the time because he over commits.

Material Girl

Sary is a little person I know that is an obvious statement but she is a little person that is influenced by everything she sees and hears and feels. When mommy is sad because she lost her special new cell phone what does that tell her about the value of stuff? I lost my phone on Thursday and Monday she asked me if I was still sad about my phone. I told her “No I realized there are more important things in life than some silly old phone.” Sary said “But it was your new phone!” “There are more important things in life than my silly new phone.”


Sary and I were at CVS yesterday and in the spirit of being better I told her she could only choose one treat while we were there. (She was home sick and had gone to the doctor so a treat was in order.) We went up and down the aisles and she wanted a $4 balloon that was starting to deflate and I convinced her that the bag of balloons for $1.89 that mommy could blow up was better. We were walking toward the front and she said what else do you want mommy. Nothing just your treat and your medicine. After several more negotiations we walked out with medicine, balloons and a candy bar because after talking her out of three more things the candy bar at the counter was too big of a challenge. (So what did we learn here: no does not mean no and Mommy is weakest at the counter.)

She started crying last because she wanted to have her silly straw cup. The silly straw cup that we put back at Target a week and a half ago because she chose window clings instead. Then she said but you wanted me to have it. Yes at the time I told her that it was a better choice but she seems to have lost that somewhere in the translation. (So what did we learn here even when mommy goes through with the one treat at a time Sary still feels ownership over everything we traded out?)

I am worried that I am raising a materialistic child. This last year has been tough to say the least and I have been using my strength elsewhere and fighting the gimme monster has been low on my list. Time to do better.

Better

We have gone through hell in 2011 and we are better because of it.


I learned throughout the last year what kind of strength resides in me. How strong I am physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. And in learning the depths of my strength I have grown in every dimension.

I survived major surgery and then walkout of the hospital to my car head held high with no baby in my arms. I walked to the parking garage to my car because I could not bear the idea of sitting in the lobby watching the newborn bundles go home when my sweet Piper was in a plastic box, covered in wires, incubating under billi-lights.

I held it together for my sweet girl Sary and convince her that life is going on as normal (while I was dying inside) and that it is normal for a baby to stay at the hospital after they are born.

I drove to and from the hospital everyday wondering what my perfect little Piper would be doing next and drove home every night wondering if she would survive until I saw her again.

I learned that prayer can strengthen me and hold me up and comfort me.

After two months that seemed like an eternity.

I took a tiny baby home and loved her to pieces.

I moved on past my NICU fears: She will not break. No one will take her away. I am her mother.

It took me the second half of the year to recover from the trauma of the first half. I have new gray hairs, new wrinkles, and a different shaped body which will always remind me of this time but I will recover from the pain.

I learned what really matters in life. I learned that it is never too late to forgive. I learned that time is precious and that you cannot predict the future, so loving someone cannot wait until the right time. It doesn’t matter if there is work, it doesn’t matter if the house is dirty, it doesn’t matter if it requires you to admit you made a mistake. Life cannot wait. If 28 week old babies can be born on their own schedule and turn my life upside down there is no telling what will happen next. It is time to do better now there is no time to waste.

I am leaving 2011 behind already. I have moved on and 2012 is the year of Better. Not “Getting Better” but simply Better. As in Piper is better. I am better.
Jake and I have decided we are going to do better. We are going to tighten our budget and make better financial decisions. We are going to look at how we spend our time and make better decisions about what we do with it. This is the year of better.

God bless our little Miracle. God bless our little family. Amen

I am from

I am from a bicycle made from parts, from Pepsi and homemade fudge.

I am from the sandy hills of a man-made lake in central Michigan with the smell of coffee filling the air each morning. I am from antique family pictures with eyes that follow.

I am from the aloe plant’s orange blossom, the lilac bush, and the sunflower rooted below the bird feeder.

I am from monthly Birthday dinners and loud voices, from Debbie Bobbi Danny and Becky.

I am from the too honest and always room at the table. I am from a wall of fame of high school graduation pictures and children in a row.

From “sisters are friends forever” and “everything will work out in the end”.

I am from the nightly prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep…”

I'm from Arizona where it is hot for too long and the children play until the street light comes on. I’m from Michigan where it is cold for too long and the sunsets at two hours before midnight, from potato candy and Mom’s potato salad.

From the never met a stranger mother, the farmer in his heart father and from four grandparents I never really got to know.

I am from the Gallihugh home where ever it roams. I am from a family of wanderers who are never far apart in their hearts.

I first saw this type of poem on Uniquely Normal Mom the template for this poem is here.

Hasn't she noticed it is July? No one gets sick in July!

As my dear friend Angela is constantly reminding me "Do not pray for patience or God will help you by exercising your skills."  So this week I did not pray for patience but I did my best to practice my patience.  I spent Sunday evening in the ER with Sary because she had 103.5 fever and was complaining of abdominal pain.  It was on the right side so I was afraid it was appendicitis but when I got to the ER they seemed to think that a urinary tract infection was more likely for a girl her age.  Her pee came back normal and we moved on to focusing on her appendix.  In the mean time they started an IV and took some blood.  (both of these were a first for Sary).

She handled it like a rockstar. Sary was so well behaved she charmed all the nurses and techs. She was quite adorable in her rainbow pants with her rainbow build-a-bear and her light up stride-rite shoes.

 She had an ultrasound and they couldn't see the appendix. Then we moved onto a CAT scan which required her to drink contrast, and have some contrast injected through her IV and she had to be sedated.  The nurse told the Dr that she was sucha  good patient that she didn't need sedation but the Dr insisted.  The CAT scan came back clear.

The Dr determined that there was no need for surgery and that she had a virus and should be seen by her Pediatrician the next day.

I must have been quite the sight scooping up my sedated 3 year old that is more than half my height, lugging her to the car, looking worse coming out of the ER than she did going in.  I was so overwhelmed that I forgot her discharge papers in the exam room.

The medication they used to sedate her made her sick over night and in the morning.

On Monday morning when we went to the Pediatricians office Dr P looked at the results from the CAT and said there was fluid in her lungs. She listened to her lungs and her crackling and wheezing.  She determined that Sary had early pneumonia and that the abdominal pain was referred pain from her lungs.  Just when I thought I was going to start getting into a groove with this whole going back to work on a project thing Sary gets pneumonia! 

I spent Monday with Sary and she spent Tuesday and Wednesday at Nana's while I went into the office. She was so sad about being sick she cried herself to sleep Tuesday night.  She wanted me to stay with her so bad on Wednesday that I almost turned around and came back home.  But we were both strong.

Here we are we made it to Thursday. Dr P says there is a little crackling left in her lungs but she is on the mend.  I am home with her and Piper for the next four days.  Thankful once again that I get to spend more than 50% of my week with my babies.

Lorna the Therapist

So the last 6 months have been the most difficult 6 months in my life.  I had a baby girl Piper who was born prematurely and that has defined everything I have been doing for the last 6 months.  I am still now starting to find out if there is anything else I can handle doing anything besides mother her right now.  I have been on a project at work now for 2 weeks which with the holiday has meant a total of 5 days away from the Piper. I am blessed with the flexibility to work from home two days a week. By the end of the day yesterday all I wanted all I needed "was to hold my baby".  When I say I think the United States should have State funded 1 year paid maternity leave I mean it not from a political stance.  But from the stance of a mother that desparately yearns to hold my baby when she is away from me.  It is viceral not a political idea.

Today unfortunatly was not all giggles and spit up though.  Today was a Physical Therapy day, which is presumably why I am working from home in the first place to do all the hands on appointments for Piper.   The Ocupational Therapist  is named Lorna. I would just refer to her as "the therapist" but my mother in law always refers to her by name which feels a bit strange and almost too personal.  She does come to my home and does a service for my family but I don't know that I would call her Lorna if I went to her at an office somewhere.

So anyway Lorna the Therapist really made Piper scream today.  Apparently Piper's torticollis is getting worse.  So we need to "be more agressive with her neck stretches".  Early on when Lorna the Therapist noticed that Piper had a slight issue with torticollis she threatened us with these "horrible stretches" which is now where we are.  Today she threatened us with a collar made of tubing, which BTW she had in the car.  But she didn't want to use it if we could make the stretches work.  Ugh I feel like I am at the dentist when the therapist comes over.  Every week it is a new issue and a new horrible painful thing that could happen if I do not follow Lorna the Therapist's recommondations.

There was mentions of working on her overstimulation issues and her tolorance of crowds.  But that is not important right now right now we have the "take care of the neck".  I was instructed to get on the floor with Piper and hold her neck to the right. "How long?" I ask. "To tolorance" translation until she screams to the point that you can't tolorate it anymore. I think it is supposed to be until she can't tolorate it but to me that would be as soon as she screams.  When Lorna the Therapist had me administer the exercise she had me do it until I couldn't take the screaming anymore.  In addition to this stretch we are supposed to do the one that Piper really hates which is holding down on her right shoulder and pushing her head straight But Lorna the Therapist didn't write that one on the list.  Piper was so "done" by this point that Lorna the Therapist did not have me administer that one.

Lorna the Therapist wrote the following instructions in Piper's notebook:

On tummy - turn head to the right  - hold- lay next to her and talk [while she screams in your face]

On tummy - double roll to increase angle and look for head up arms forward and straight is fine. [because we tried to get her to do something with her arms but she wont so go ahead and focus on the head]

Roll side -> Back->Side [because she refuses to be on her belly so let's not even go there right now]