I Am Here

There are several things today that have made me think that there is something wrong with this country this society and just people in general today from the micro to the macro and I will do my best to tie them all together. Or this could just be a thought salad.

First my neighbor who has decided for some reason to make my life miserable when ever she can made an extra effort to be obnoxious this morning. She came out to her car as I was getting into mine (the red Scion) she was parked on the left as always. Part of my issue with her is that she enjoys hitting my car (Jake’s car) with her car door. So much in fact that we installed a camera to prevent her from continuing to do the damage. This morning after putting things into the left side of her car she came between our cars as I backed out and hit my car and mirror with her door. For fun or spite whatever. Sary asked what is wrong with her mama. I pulled out and my other neighbor who saw the incident also commented something a little more direct than that. So after dropping Sary off I called Jake to discuss the issue he mentioned all the reasons we should be sympathetic and how he doesn’t even look at her anymore to avoid the dirty looks. This left me feeling frustrated and wondering what gives her the right to spew hate everywhere.

I was happily walking to work from the parking garage (probably ¾ of a mile) as I walked down Wilson blvd I was happy that I had gotten every walk sign. There is nothing better than getting all walk signals when it is drizzling. I saw people with their earphones in heads down walking to work. I was thinking why shut this out the cityscape is great the sights the sounds the smells (for the most part). Then I turned up N Lynn Street about a block from my office I saw a homeless guy with a cardboard sign that said 'VETERAN can you help?' He was sitting there all dirty looking very much homeless sitting in a camp chair smoking a cigarette and talking on a cell phone, laughing a jolly laugh talking to someone who is obviously a good friend of his. I smiled thinking how nice for him to be so happy on this dreary day. Some business men three steps down the block smoking under the edge of a building were not smiling I heard one of them say to the other “Wonder if welfare paid for that phone?” Seriously where do you think he gets his welfare checks delivered “Homeless Bob, Campchair N. Lynn St, Arlington, VA”? What makes you so much better than him? As I always tell Sary he is Gods creature just like you. What in God’s creation makes you superior to him? As I entered my office building I thought, maybe I should wear my earphones on the way back to the parking garage tonight.

Then this afternoon I got a text from my sister our nephew was seen by the judge. He was appointed an attorney he will have his next hearing April 5th. My nephew has a loving family who is crushed by him being back in jail, this time for a parole violation. When will he be able to put the past behind him? When will he get a chance to get a job and a place to live without his past haunting him? Do you think the judge will understand the challenges an ex-con faces in a recession when he has his hearing for a parole violation for not having a job.

There are so many people in our society that just look at other people and think they have them figured out. I do not know why my neighbor doesn’t like me. Maybe she thinks my life is easy, that I don’t have my share of suffering so she has taken it upon herself to make me suffer. I don’t know why the businessmen out smoking dislike the homeless man maybe they envy the fact that all he has to do today is sit in a campchair and laugh on the phone. I don’t know why my nephew has to suffer over and over for mistakes he made in the past. I do know the system is more likely to sympathize with the woman who slams her door into my car and the men who smoke under the awning than it is to sympathize with my nephew or the homeless man.

The best place to make change is from where you are and I am here. Stay tuned because you know when I have made up my mind to do something things happen.

One Woman's Pet Peeve is Another Woman's Endearing Quality

Have you ever noticed you become more like the company you keep? I have found this to be especially true with how I see people in my life.  If I am hanging out with people who think that kids are the greatest thing ever I am all smooshy and gaga about being a mom but if I am with someone who sees their children as a burden, all those annoying little things start to bother me.  The same goes for my husband.  If I am hanging out with women that are frustrated in their marriage I am more likely to be frustrated with the annoying things he does.

To be honest everyone has annoying things they do.  It is not that we love them in spite of these things we love including these annoying traits.  Also what annoys one person might not annoy someone else.  I love that Sary knows her own mind.  But I do find it annoying that she feels she must yell to get her point across.  I love that Jake likes to have a busy schedule.  But I do find it annoying that he is late all the time because he over commits.

Material Girl

Sary is a little person I know that is an obvious statement but she is a little person that is influenced by everything she sees and hears and feels. When mommy is sad because she lost her special new cell phone what does that tell her about the value of stuff? I lost my phone on Thursday and Monday she asked me if I was still sad about my phone. I told her “No I realized there are more important things in life than some silly old phone.” Sary said “But it was your new phone!” “There are more important things in life than my silly new phone.”


Sary and I were at CVS yesterday and in the spirit of being better I told her she could only choose one treat while we were there. (She was home sick and had gone to the doctor so a treat was in order.) We went up and down the aisles and she wanted a $4 balloon that was starting to deflate and I convinced her that the bag of balloons for $1.89 that mommy could blow up was better. We were walking toward the front and she said what else do you want mommy. Nothing just your treat and your medicine. After several more negotiations we walked out with medicine, balloons and a candy bar because after talking her out of three more things the candy bar at the counter was too big of a challenge. (So what did we learn here: no does not mean no and Mommy is weakest at the counter.)

She started crying last because she wanted to have her silly straw cup. The silly straw cup that we put back at Target a week and a half ago because she chose window clings instead. Then she said but you wanted me to have it. Yes at the time I told her that it was a better choice but she seems to have lost that somewhere in the translation. (So what did we learn here even when mommy goes through with the one treat at a time Sary still feels ownership over everything we traded out?)

I am worried that I am raising a materialistic child. This last year has been tough to say the least and I have been using my strength elsewhere and fighting the gimme monster has been low on my list. Time to do better.